Lungfish's Greatest Plunders and Worst Blunders, vol. 3

This one still sticks in my craw. I'm not sure exactly where my craw is located, but by golly, this particular thing is so deeply embedded that it can't be extracted with a pair of needle-nose pliers and a strong grip. Let's flashback to 2002. The online sportsbook was offering prop bets on the NFL draft. There were multiple over/unders they were offering on where certain players would get taken in the draft.

Now I had gleaned some information from a couple of draft insiders that had been interviewed on WFAN (the local sports talk radio station). They had a strong hunch that the Giants were going to draft a tight end with their 14th pick, namely Jeremy Shockey from the University of Miami. Well, that was good enough for me. I checked, and the over/under was set at 15.5 for him. However, there was one bit of semantics that I needed to be cleared up for me.

Usually, betting over/unders is pretty clear cut. Say the over/under line in a baseball game is set at 7.5 runs. You can bet if you think the combined score in that game will be over 7.5 runs or under 7.5 runs. If you bet the under and the final score was 4-3, you're buying a round with your newfound cash. If you bet the under and the final score was 5-3, you're crying in your beer.

Now in this case, since I thought Shockey would get drafted 14th, did that mean I should bet over or under 15.5? One one hand, using the same logic as before, 14 is under 15.5, so it would be an under bet. On the other hand, if this was a race and Shockey finished in 14th place, that would be be over 15.5th place, right?

Anyway, I decide to call up customer service. Since gambling over the internet is illegal here in the States, online sportsbooks are usually based in seedy offshore islands. This sportsbook was centered in Antigua and so was their customer service. I was on the phone for 30 minutes, asking this question 50 different ways, making sure. There was a bit of a language barrier- I'm not sure what the native language of Antigua is, but the agent I spoke to had a thick accent. The customer service rep told me, unequivocally, that I should bet the over if I thought Shockey would get drafted in 14th position, since 14th position was over 15.5th position. I got his name, thanked him, and got my $500 in on the over.

The next day, the more I thought about it, the more I doubted what was told to me. I called up customer service again, and I was now being given a different answer! This new customer service rep was saying I should have bet the under, and that I was an idiot because clearly, 14 is under 15.5. I asked to speak with a manager, and after being put on hold for an eternity, the manager told me the same thing. I asked if they could just refund my bet then, and again, I was stonewalled. They said that if I wanted to reverse my bet, I'd have to place a bet the opposite way and eat the juice. Well, this wasn't an option for me either, since I'd placed the maximum allowable amount already ($500)... and they wouldn't raise the limit of action they'd take on the bet to accomodate me. I cited the previous rep I'd spoke to on the other call and demanded that the tape of my conversation be pulled. The manager consented and placed me on hold. After literally being on hold for 1 hour, I hung up seething.

I called up my friend, Slewyou, who also had an account at the same sportsbook. I told him I'd cut him a check for $500, if he'd deposit $500 into his account and place a bet on the Jeremy Shockey* under. He did, and of course by this time the line had moved. $500 would only win $333 now. I'd be losing $167, but that was better than losing all $500.

Straight Wager 04/19/02 18:29 ET
381.00/346.36 Result: Wager Lost
Jeremy Shockey - Over/Under Draft Position
Over/Under Draft Position 14
Over/Under Draft Position 0 04/20/02 (12:30 ET)
Over 15.5 (-110)

Straight Wager 04/19/02 18:24 ET
119.00/108.18 Result: Wager Lost
Jeremy Shockey - Over/Under Draft Position
Over/Under Draft Position 14
Over/Under Draft Position 0 04/20/02 (12:30 ET)
Over 15.5 (-110)


* Jeremy Shockey's broke his leg in 2007 and did not play in the Giants' win in Superbowl XLII. After arguments with his head coach and GM, he was traded to New Orleans. He played in only 3 games with the Saints before season ending hernia surgery.

Lungfish's Greatest Plunders and Worst Blunders, vol. 2

A gambler is always looking for an arbitrage situation, or to put it simply, a guaranteed chance to make a profit without any risk (see, my economics degree isn't totally useless). One such situation emerged back on a Friday in March of 2002 quite unexpectedly. March Madness was just beginning, and Michigan St. was supposed to play Indiana in that evening in the Big 10 tournament. However, due to an impending snowstorm, the game was moved to an earlier start. The game started at about12pm, and by 3pm, Indiana had won easily. My co-worker, who was an even worse degenerate gambler than myself, was browsing the the online sportsbook and saw that the Michigan St. vs Indiana game was still posted, with the original tip-off time, and still open to be bet on! [Editor's note: This was in the good ol' days when companies didn't block websites, and allowed unfettered access to the internet]

He called me over, and we both couldn't believe our eyes. George Clooney in "Ocean's Eleven" says:

"...the house always wins. Play long enough, you never change the stakes. The house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet and you bet big, then you take the house."

Well, the house had slipped up, and we were going to punish them for it. We both emptied our accounts and got our bets down as fast as humanly possible, lest the folks at the sportsbook wised up suddenly and delisted the game. Even after we placed our bets, we were still anxious. These offshore gambling sites were unregulated, and kind of like the wild, wild West. What if they invalidated our bets... or worse, what if they saw this as grounds to suspend our accounts and freeze our funds? All of the sudden, what were both sweating out what was supposed to be a sure thing. We already knew the outcome of the game, we just didn't if know we were going to slip one by the house.

Straight Wager 03/08/02 15:11 ET
261.78/237.98 (paid 499.76) Result: Wager Won
MichSt 56
Indiana 67 03/08/02 (23:30 ET)
Indiana -3

Well, it worked! They actually graded the game before we had even left work. At happy hour, we partied like George Clooney and Brad Pitt. The caper we pulled off wasn't quite on the scale of an Ocean's Eleven, but it was at least a "Lungfish's Two".

Do you know what's worse than drunk dialing? Drunk gambling- it's why casinos ply you with free alcohol, and how they can afford to spend millions of dollars on a replica of the f'n Eiffel Tower in the middle of a desert. When I got home, I flipped on the computer and logged on to my gambling account again. I saw another arbitrage situation. Cincinnati had already played Marquette that day, and they still had a prop bet up on the amount of points that their point guard, Steve Logan, was going to score against Marquette. I checked the box score, and saw that he scored less than the over/under. I poured my money in on the under, and phoned my buddy to do the same. What was going on? This website was going to go out of business if it continued to operate in such a careless manner, I told myself as I went to sleep.

When I awoke the next morning, I went to read the newspaper, and pulled out the sports section.... to my horror, under the TV schedule, there a time listed for a Cincinatti-Marquette game in about 30 minutes! This wasn't a mistake by the sportsbook, the 2 teams were playing on back-to-back days, in the regular season finale, and then for the opening of the conference tournament. I immediately called my friend and told him of my alcohol-induced error. He must've been drunk, because he was going to let the bet ride. I had sobered up, and was going to just eat the vig and hedge by placing a bet on the over. I had to make a $500 deposit into my account, having emptied it on this foolish bet.

Straight Wager 03/09/02 11:04 ET
500.00/525.00 (paid 1025.00) Result: Wager Won
Steve Logan (Cincinnati) Total Points - Must Play
Points 26
Points 0 03/09/02 (11:40 ET)
Over 22.5 (+105)

Straight Wager 03/08/02 23:57 ET
500.00/454.55 Result: Wager Lost
Steve Logan (Cincinnati) Total Points - Must Play
Points 26
Points 0 03/09/02 (11:40 ET)
Under 23 (-110)

As it turned out, it was a good thing I had covered myself. My friend was not so lucky.

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Steve Logan was drafted in the 2nd round by the Golden St. Warriors. He was soon traded to the Dallas Mavericks and cut from the team. He since has played professionally in Poland, Israel, and Venezuela. He has never played a game in the NBA.

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Lungfish and his former co-worker continue to battle their addiction with gambling. Despite their best efforts, they have both gambled while drunk since.

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